A Gesture of Gratitude…

Today after two weeks to the day of Cody’s passing, I went to Clint Moore to deliver a framed collage of Cody to Dr Butzer.

After many inquiries of how I am doing to which I answer… OK… I saw Jen, Olivia, Erin, Christine, Ryan, some other folks and then Dr Butzer. I was called into a room and with the frame in hand I gave it to him… and he welled up. Which of course got me welled up. The collage (above) is a good representation of healthy Cody and of course his favorite things… the ball, the field across the street, the beach, swimming and of course Dr Butzer. Doc would ride his bike by us in the morning and stop and throw the ball for Cody, so he knew about his obsession with that game. When I gave him the picture he talked about each one and how handsome Cody was, and healthy looking. He stared at the pictures for a long time and we talked about Cody… and we both cried a bit. He said he had never in all his years in practice ever seen a Lab like him… that he was special.

I mentioned to him that I feel I need to do something with animals now… that I need to channel all this knowledge of canine cancer into something positive and good. He chimed in that it would be amazing to have Cody help other dogs… EXACTLY! I am still not sure how to do that but I can not let it go…

Anyway, when I was walking out I got lots of hugs and all the girls were great. I will miss seeing them so regularly.

Over the last two weeks I have had lots of time… lots of VERY QUIET time to process all of this.  The house is very quiet and that is the hardest part. I picked up his ashes the Monday after his passing and I set him in the living room on his own pedestal that I had for another vase. I brought in the last tennis ball we played with from the front step and placed it next to his ashes with a beautiful picture.

The week was kind of a blur with the July 4th holiday and thinking of Cody cringing from fireworks every time, work and school and a Psychology exam that I ACED on Thursday… and right from class I went to the lower Florida Keys and spent the rest of the next four days kayaking on the beautiful waters of the Atlantic and Florida Bay. A much needed recharge and getaway… away from the quiet house and away from the last week of sadness.

I wore his dog tags the entire time. The smile is for him because he loved this place and swam here with me…

I toasted him on Friday July 6th, at 7:22pm marking the first week to the minute of his passing. I sat and looked out at the setting sun from a quintessential Keys bar with some nice sunburn to make me feel alive, and said a proper hello to the boy.

Needless to say… I miss my dawg… I feel a huge hole in my life right now that two cats cannot fill. It is just not the same messy sloppy love that a dog brings to your world. I miss the hugs and the cuddles and the wet kisses… his stinky breath and his snoring. At some point I will have to rescue another and fill up my heart again… but as the Grateful Dead so eloquently state…

All good things in all good time…

Sunday is Cody’s seventh birthday… I will be sure to post then as well and say a proper Happy Birthday to my sweet baby boy. Maybe all you readers out there in virtualand can have a toast in your own way for my boy… kiss your babies… have a beer… scratch a butt…. rub an ear….

Cheers!

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~ by Michelle Sammartino-Zeto on July 13, 2012.

One Response to “A Gesture of Gratitude…”

  1. Your blog is so well done. It makes me so sad but I can’t seem to stop checking in from time to time. The time for my precious Kuma will come for him to cross over to the tennis ball field in the sky. So far his oral melanoma tumor has grown but no signs of metasasis yet. I hope he will play with Cody once he crosses over.
    Best regards
    Kuma & Joann

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